The Random Dozen thing...

1. What is your favorite Mexican Dish? I like the taco salad - some places are better than others. Since they are so "fattening" I only splurge once in awhile with them.

2. When you were a kid did you get started on your homework right away after school, or did you procrastinate? In High School I was able to do my homework on the bus - it was an hour a day to get home. If I didn't get it done, I would do it right after school or after dinner (that way I didn't have to do the dishes - sometimes that worked).

3. What is your favorite store for Home furnishings? Don't have one - but Jerry sure likes Menards for everything he can get to "fix things" etc.

4. When you were young did you like school lunches? I can't remember that far back - however; in grade school we did not have "school lunches" they were packed by Mother and we ate it no matter what or go hungry. :)

5. Is your religion a crutch? First of all I don't believe in religion - I just believe in God, Jesus, and the Holy Spirit. I use the Bible as a MOST important TOOL and a knowledge it is a love letter to us all. I am a CHRISTIAN!!!

6. In your region what is the "big" (most popular in the community or state) high school sport? I imagine it would be football -- I really don't know...

7. Do you consider yourself rich? Only in Spirit - PRAISE THE LORD!

8. Which of these would you have the best chance for success in administering:
A) CPR
B) Heimlich Maneuver
C) Changing a Flat tire
I am hoping it will be CPR - but not until I take the class again - this coming Thursday. I took it in the military years ago and "I killed Annie" - not good. Hopefully this time I will do much better. :)

9. Which dance would you prefer to learn and why:
A) Salsa
B) Hip Hop
C) Waltz
D) Swing
I want to learn the Salsa - spicy, hot - do you think I could be "hot" at my age - well Jerry thinks so, that is all that matters. I like the hip thing going on because it would tone my core. ha ha.

10. What is the worst news you've ever delivered to someone? It had to be in the time I told my Mother to let go and go to Jesus. I wanted the best for her, but it was so hard to let go. God always works things for the best, and I know I will see her again.

11. Name something you learned in college that had nothing to do with classes or academics:
Well, I was pregnant at my senior year and people wanted to come up and touch my stomach and feel "the baby" kick - I was surprised that some of the guys in my classes wanted to.

12. New variation on an old question: If there is a song in your head that just won't get out what is your favorite most repeated line in that song? "I am free to run, I am free to dance"...

That was fun....

It's Time...

It is time for me to just be. Have you ever just wanted to "stop time"? Or speed time up? I have and do you know what? It is a WASTE of time doing that. Now all I want to do is be in the moment - actually that is what the doctor prescribed for me. Even Jesus stresses that! In fact Jesus gave us the gift of His presence! In God's Word, you never see how Jesus is rushed. So, why do I "feel" I have to at times?I seem to rush through my meals. Rush to get a project done at work. Rush to go somewhere....How sad is that? Especially on the meals and the projects - both get me bad results! Rushing through meals, my stomach doesn't have time to process it is full. Rushing through work projects gives me opportunities to make errors - "haste makes waste".

The dilemma I face is HOW DO I SLOW DOWN? How do I embrace the moment? How can I just be?

I go to Scriptures that tell me - there are many - and I have written them down. It seems I am too "rushed" to read them - I know why bother to write them down? Actually though, when I do sit tight and read them, there is a peace that comes over me, I am sure you have experienced that too.

Work has been so "stressful" lately. There are so many guys on the "bench" - out of work, my boss is uptight about everything, and lately I have found myself "caught up" in the chaos of it all. I know better - I know that Jesus would rather me be in the zone of peace even though the outside is in turmoil. So -- the knowledge is there --- NOW IT IS TIME TO BE!!!

One can look outside themselves and see

A person caught up in the tragedies

One can see that people are sad

But we can also see the ones that are glad.

Some people just can't seem to be happy

All they do is sit around and be "sappy".

I don't want to be one of those,

Oh no, I want to be the one God chose.

It is such a delight and joy to be,

In His presence is awesome to me.

So, now I will stop right here,

Open up God's Word and cheer.

---Anita :)

Day Dreaming...

Got these pictures from one of the e-mails I got. They are precious - I love children and animals - mostly love cats the best! Anyway the above picture is how I feel today. It is really quiet here at work and it is like I am all alone in this big building. My boss is gone, my co-worker Jerimie is gone to lunch. So, I am left here just day dreaming away.

I can remember when we had a gray cat named Smokey - he used to lay on top of the TV (back then they were huge big ones). People would come over and wonder if the cat was real - and of course he would raise his head up and they would jump - so funny.

I can remember having a cocker named George - a red one. He lived until he was pretty old and I can remember getting home from school and he would wait there for the bus. Bless his old heart, he got deaf towards the end.

Oh isn't it something to look back in your "childhood" - some good memories, bad memories, ones that bring tears to the eyes by just thinking about them. Also remembering the laughter too - then chuckle to yourself.

Now, at this particular point in time, I would just love to be by the pond we used to live by or the creek waterfall behind our house in Shingletown. So many hours I would sit by either one. Okay, why am I remembering all of this???????????

My "Mother's Birthday" was Aug. 17th - of course now she is in heaven celebrating ALL the time. It seems like the days like that along with the holidays I can get so "homesick" for Shingletown missing my family.

In reality though I am much happier now than I have ever been or should I say content! I guess with age comes that. I am so thankful really! I am so thankful for God, Jerry, Sam, Christian brothers and sisters, my blood brothers, etc.

I was blessed today by one of the Union members - he came in and brought his 1 year old baby boy - Cameron - he was adorable!!! I was able to hold him and take him down to show the "girls" at the Teamseters window. We all enJOYED the baby break. Also another member brought his dog (Lilly) in - a white jack Russell who kept jumping up and down. Both incidents were a high-light of the day.

So, with that and thanking God I do have a job - I am "waking up from day dreaming" and just letting myself "BE".

MENTAL PAIN...PHYSICAL PAIN....

Yesterday went to Pizza Ranch - ate way too much food. We went to the one in Oelwein where we "met up" with some of Jerry's family. The mental pain for me was trying to talk, and it seemed like they all had a comment on me. Jeff, Jerry's brother teasingly told me that maybe I should quit talking to save myself. I looked at Jerry and he said yeah probably. That hit me so hard! I was glad I was finished eating, I went outside and cried! Jerry came out and told me he was sorry, but I just couldn't stop crying! How silly is that. Normally things like that don't bother me, but this time, it did.

I got over it, then went to Jerry's folks' farm and there we all had chores to do. I was elected to rake the grass after my mother-in-law mowed. The farm has a HUGE yard by the way. My sister-in-law was also raking. We raked and put it in piles, Jerry came with a wheel barrel and loaded it up. I tell you we raked and raked - it was 3 hours before we got it all done! Today, I am A HURTING UNIT!!! I thought I was in shape but raking obviously uses muscles that I haven't worked out! I even got a blister on my right hand, and I was wearing gloves!

Do I sound like I am whining - probably. Actually though, I am thankful for these moments, BECAUSE so many lessons learned here. First of all - don't take family members so seriously, second - I need to work out my arms more. :)

Also, I do thank God that we were able to help out his folks! Also you should see all the vegetables they gave us for helping. YUM!!!

Better "days"....

True confession here - I have had two better days because of the medication that I am taking - but I also know it is God making sure I get them. Does that make sense? He is the one that told me to go back to the doctor, something is not right. He told me that the words coming out of my mouth were not His. He told me that my actions are not actions of a Christian. He told me that He loved me and He gently "pushed" me out the door to see my doctor again. Now mind you the doctor told me I needed to see her Monday - and I will have to see her again next Monday. She needs to know that I am getting better. Isn't God thorough? But oh how I would love to throw all my meds away, I have to be honest. I feel that I "should suffer" through - you know I probably would IF it didn't cause others to suffer. Unfortunately in my case - others do. So, I shall count my blessings and take my meds - AND be grateful that I can afford them.

Here is a poem - I haven't wrote one in awhile:

Today, Yesterday, Now & Tomorrow

Today I took one more pill,

Today, I learned God loves me still.

Today I asked Him to forgive me,

Today He said, Anita, just let it be.

Yesterday, I cried many tears,

Yesterday, I had so many fears.

Yesterday, I wanted to run away,

Yesterday, I didn't know what to say.

Now, I am feeling God's presence.

Now, I am feeling His essence.

Now, I am calm and cool.

Now, I I don't feel like a fool.

Tomorrow I don't know what holds,

Tomorrow I don't know what will unfold.

Tomorrow, less than 9 hours I will be up,

Tomorrow, I pray I can fill my cup.....

WITH GOD'S LOVE AND MERCY!

Do you want to know?

Remember the song a long time ago, "Remember, do you want to know a secret, do you promise not to tell?" Well, I don't have one so that is not what this post is about.

It's about how I am feeling right now. I know yesterday that picture of above was so true, with all that rain at the Farmer's Market dampened it some for me. I really wanted to take my time and look at all the stuff. Oh well.....

This picture of Sam - this is how I feel. I am feeling irritated over the silliest things. Like tonight at "The Gathering", I was irritated at how everyone was talking about what is ahead - our new pastor coming, what will he do or not do. Then there was always discussion on who is sick and how a couple of our members could very well go to heaven next week.

What irritated me the most was that we were not focusing on the moment. Where we right then and now. How are we walking in faith.

Yes, I could have spoke up - but I chose to hide my feelings behind reading a book while they were talking - yet I really wasn't reading either. I was listening and getting more irritated. How ridiculous was that for me to do that. Why did I do that? That irritated me more. Can you see the circle I put myself in?

Anyway I did have a great highlight today as some of us went to Ruby Tuesday to eat lunch. We had fun, conversations and great food - I had the salad bar. Love it!

But guess what? I was irritated at myself because I ate too much. So I took a nap when I got home instead of exercising some of it off. Then I was going to walk after the gathering - but too hot. DUMB DUMB!!!

Okay, why am I posting this? You don't want to read my "yucky" stuff - but you know what, I just needed to get it off of my chest. There it is off -- now I can go to bed and pray that tomorrow I WILL NOT BE IRRITATED!!!

May "Your Fragrance Linger"....

Isaiah 35:1 (WEB) Awhile back I e-mailed some of my dearest friends and asked them, "If I was a fragrance what would I be"?

I know a lot of things could have happened here - but remember I e-mailed to my FRIENDS!!!

Two said I leave the scent of "Optimism", one said, "faithful", one said, Joy Abundantly, one said "Triumph", and there were a few others...Isn't it wonderful to ask people about things like that I was pleasantly surprised!

Now if I would say what I leave behind I could think of 100 different fragrances! The point of asking my friends was fun - but what would have happened if I asked the ones that know me here at work or Jerry's family...I wonder what they would say. Maybe I wouldn't want to know.

Really why would I want to ask? Well, I think I would want to know because I do want to "leave" a good scent - not a "nasty" one - such as gossiper, judger, hater, mean, bitter....OUCH! You know I think I have at times and boy does the Holy Spirit let me know!!! Words are powerful of course but actions are too!

How about you? What fragrance would you WANT TO BE. I want to be the ones my friends told me. :) This is tough! You know what - I am going to strive to be that way - not just around my friends but AROUND everyone! I know it will take practice, yes practice! Of course I can't be any of that WITHOUT GOD HELPING ME!!! The Holy Spirit is SWEET and REFRESHING -- that is a great scent to leave behind. Now to just let it out....

"Because you have seen me, you have believed; blessed are those who have not seen and yet have believed." -- John 20:29

Thankful and day book thing....

I am SO THANKFUL for medication - I know God heals and sometimes He does that with medication. Most of you know I am a Bi-Polar and medication is very important to me! Sometimes I have to get my "meds" adjusted - and I had to this week. Last week was very bad a few days, and I kept track of it...I knew that I needed a "tweak" - even though I fought it before I called the Doctor! I am so thankful I did, I am thankful that even though the Meds. cost more than I would like - it is worth it! Like my doctor said, "job with meds" or "no job with meds" - so that was a no "brainer"... :)

Okay, just for fun:

• I am thinking: How thankful I am to have a job (my lunch break now by the way).
• I am thankful: For my doctor and meds - and friends and so BEING A Christian (yes, my mind is all over the place - meds haven't quite kicked in.
• I am wearing: my favorite black "short pants" (forgot what they are called) and my favorite silk type shirt.
• I am remembering: How good it is to "be alive" - and that I know what it is like to feel like "I don't want to be".
• I am reading: A book on Martha and Mary - very good.
• I am hoping: to get to exercise at home - to "yucky" out there to walk.
• I need: to get back to work soon - break is almost over.
• On my mind: I keep thinking about Allison - a girl I met at the Dr. office - she is "just like me but in a younger cuter version".
• From the learning rooms: pay attention to the signs of my behavior and get help sooner.
• Noticing that: I am quite blessed to have this office here at work!
• Pondering these words: "I am like you before God; I too have been taken from clay." -- Job 33:6
• From the kitchen: Glad I have leftovers to have for dinner - it pays to make extra!
• Around the house: Jerry is making progress slowly but surely on the kitchen.

Okay that is enough of that --- I PRAY YOU ALL HAVE A BLESSED DAY!!! And if you are having a rough day, my heart reaches out to you...